This is my contribution to the group-blogging as proposed by our fellow blogger Kyle and the readers of her excellent blog. Subject: How gringos are perceived by Chileans (in particular). Here we go:
--Update: Check out all the other posts written about the topic
Kyle
Flo
Clare
Sara
Abby
Katina
Emily
Amanda
Renee
Kathleen
Lydia
Shannon
-- end of update
What do I think of you? I have to start with one clarification: I use the word gringo(a) to refer in general to English-speaking people, and my views are based on the British, Irish, Americans and Australians I've met, and I know less Americans than European English-speakers. By no means I mean antything offensive or derogatory by using the word gringo (in other countries it has connotations, but not in Chilean Spanish).
Gringos are cool. Gringas too. That's my first impression and it's due to their straight-forward and let's-cut-the-crap attitude. I think I am bit like that too, so I kinda like you. It can be a bit much sometimes, but gradually one can get used to it because it makes everything more predictable. Probably is more difficult the other way around: a gringo having to get used to the Chilean ways.
So it all boils down to this: you're more straight forward, and what you're like 'what see is what you get' type of people. It can be brutal though to deal with you, particularly for Chileans.
Optimism
Americans in general can be excessively optimistic, too loud and over the top, to the point of being annoyingly over-enthusiastic, can't wait to get things done and come across as too simplistic. Brits are green with envy of Americans and they try hard to disguise it but they fail, miserably. If you ask an American how they are doing, they answer: GREAT! AND YOU?! British say: 'I'm not too bad'. Americans say good morning! and they mean it. They talk more than the Europeans, and even after some brief small talk to a stranger in the lift they say good to know you, or something equally intense. At work Americans not only wish you a good weekend on Fridays, they even tell you Happy Friday. This is remarkable. Americans are energetic. British aren't. The stiff upper lip is the British way, and a Chilean person wouldn't find difficult living sorrounded by British people, because us being professional pessimists find less of an effort to understand the British psyche than the American one. If someone ask me how I am doing, in Spanish, I only reply "aquí estamos" which is the Chilean for "I'm not too bad".
Porn and general filth
There's this bizarre urban legend in Chile than anyone with fair hair, white complexion and a non-national is or has been engaged in the porn industry, or is a sex obsessive. Sadly, this is not true and it is an urban legend, and probably one day we may be able to pin point who came up with such lie, but we will never manage to find out how come so many people believe this absurdity.
The biggest misconception about these people is that gringas are easy and gringos are perverts. First, actually they come from a less sexually charged culture, and my theory is that Chileans love a sexually repressed society so they can intensify their sex experiences (don't ask how I came to this conclusion). Cheating for gringos is not OK, although I have met remarkable exceptions. For Chileans is part of the game. So there are no justified reasons to call them sex obsessives. Gringas dress more provocatively because they are less afraid of catcalling, and gringos come across as shy because of this. In fact, gringos are more concerned about STDs and are more pruddish about all sorts of exchange of fluids which is a natural part of the process of making babies, if you know what I mean (I can't believe I'm saying this!!). So in this regard, it's the Chileans who are the filthy ones. Gringos are squeaky-clean and mentally nonchalant, sort of.
Dating gringas
The gringa girls are great to hang out with, although when it comes to dating them, things turn ugly. (There are powerful reasons why I am in a relationship with a French woman and not with a gringa or -god forbid- a Chilena). For gringas there's this strong culture of 'dates' and they even count them, as in this is a first date, and then there's a second date, next oh, a third date, and ta-dah... a fourth date. Who else, other than yourselves, care about it?! I have been wondering how this works in Chile and I don't really know and I wouldn't dare to ask because people are not even going to understand the question. I think our way of dating is a mess. For Chileans the rule is 'there are no rules'. There's no such thing as a first date, and all that it entails, or a second date etc. I mean going out is less structured for us, we just go out, and preferably in a group. So you come across as a bit cold and as too obvious. Gringo culture make it really evident (you may start seeing a pattern here) when someone has taken a fancy to someone else.
I don't know how the online dating services are getting on in Chile but I suspect they may be an utter disaster. Chileans are less blatantly obvious to ask someone out on a date, so organising dates online is still confined to the weirdos. In English-speaking countries, ordering girlfriends and brides online is becoming more and more common.
Gringas tend to go out for dinner, a lot. That's the first cultural shock because we don't really have a meal like a dinner, we have once. If you have been living in Chile, you will know what I'm talking about, and you surely understand how different it is. Hell, we go for once, not dinner for goodness sake! And because when gringas in their own countries could not care less about people from other nationalities, you will realise it is not an easy task to woo you, if you know what I mean.
Talking
Gringas talk a lot. They are more articulate, they can verbalise things I didn't even know could be put into words, and they go on and on about all sort of topics. They tend to read a lot of self-help books and pyschology stuff, plus the huge influence from their celebrity culture (they have actual celebrities, unlike those gits on Chilean telly -- self-proclaimed celebrities), add that what-you-see-is-what-you-get attitude, and the mixture is not too easy to digest. I shared a flat with two gringas for a couple of years and they literally organised 'Sex & The City sessions' and intoxicated with it. Seriously, it's just a TV show, and a boring one. They also snack obsessively whilst watching TV: chocolates, biscuits, sweets, the lot. Then they complain they are getting flabby and start buying low-carb low-GI low-calorie and low-fat food: disgusting. Hardly ever you find Chilean women as obssessed or even mildly interested in anything on TV, or in anything in general, other than the soaps.
Engaging in a conversation with a gringa is easy, while with a Chilean woman there's hardly ever anything interesting to talk about. Perhaps Chileans are more uptight cause they believe one is only trying to get into her knickers. One trick I learned is that the gringas really love a good listener (with all that talking, you have to) . This is virtually impossible with a Chilean because they don't talk, so there's not much to listen to.
Breaking up
Breaking up with the gringas is, as you can expect, fairly simple too. 'We have to talk, there's something I have to tell you... things aren't working, blah blah... fair enough, yeah I agree, bye'. With Chileans, you don't really know when you started so you don't really know when it's over either. It is quite unstable. But when it happens, it is intense. You can get back together with a Chilean after cheating (well, that's what I've seen) because it is somehow expected.
Family
Gringos have with their families a very honest relationship, and that's great. 'Family first', we say in Chile. Rubbish. People just live with their families cause they can't afford otherwise and the culture of sharing flats has not taken off yet. For Chileans this means that family can bully you, treat you like shit, get on your way, give their opinions on things that should not concern anyone else, family feel entitled to frown upon what you do or don't do, or tell you whether they approve or disapprove your significant other. Because in Chile so many people live with their parents well into their 20s, even early 30s, Chileans lack independence. If the family is annoying, a gringo doesn't feel compelled to be in touch with the parents. So they are perceived as cold or even rutheless by the Chileans. I wonder what's going to happen when Chileans have more disposable income and can afford living on their own.
Marriage
And going back on the gringa subject, as part of our mess when it comes to relationships, one striking difference is that only gringas are so obsessive about marriage and settling down. I mean gringos really see marriage as something else, it's not just a contract, or let alone a way to escape home. They are after being happy in a marriage and to purse a happy married life. They have wedding planners because the wedding is the most important day of your life for them. The sacrosanct concept of 'family first' in Chile gave way to a marriage terror (or maybe it's just me?), so the same ones who criticise the gringos over being 'cold' for not being in touch with their parents (because parents can be really awkward sometimes) put Chileans off marriage. Until recently divorce was not an option in Chile, so people just have mistresses and second lives (whoa, mysterious!), which is totally accepted and people pretend such things are not true. Lack of contraception also means too many young Chilean men have children and all this is regarded as normal, so a divorced gringo or an older one with no children can also amount to horror to Chileans. So probably all the neatly organised way of dating I described before is unconsciously designed to find the one.
Breastfeeding
I've never seen a campaign for breastfeeding in Chile, and I don't see the Chileans needing one in the near future. You just don't see women breastfeeding their children in public places in gringo countries. Formula milk is seriously frowned upon in Chile, same as gringos frown upon breastfeeding in public. You will not encounter a Chilean saying 'Breasts are for my husband' either. Well, they may very well be, but come on, what about the nutrition of that child! Girls, give some breast milk to your children (I know what you're thinking: yuk!). Again, you come across as cold people.
Success
Actually, it's amazing to see how family can be equally important for gringos, even more so than for Chileans. Gringos see family as an essential part of their lives, and something that makes them happy. I would say that living in a culture with higher disposable income really turn people towards the pursue of emotional happiness rather than material obsession, since having food on the table and a roof over your head is less a dramatic task than in Third-World countries, so somehow the Chileans perceive gringos as materialist, but that's because in gringo societies there's more money in general. Gringos are quite different in this regard, and quite the opposite to Continental Europeans. Godless, childless France is a horror to gringos. In France, having a dog rather than a child and living on your own is socially accepted, not quite so in the English-speaking world.
Study the language
You can examine the language to understand what chileans think of gringos. One of the more common adjectives to describe gringos is desabridos, which means 'bland', but I think it refers to that WYSIWYG mode in which you function, to use computer terminology. Gringos are not dark horses, there's nothing mysterious about them either. Kind of 'fome' (boring) too.
Another word is rotos, as in lacking manners or being rude, very much related to the desabrido. Some years ago I went on a date with a Chilean girl who I had known for a while, and a couple of pisco sours later, slightly upset she said "you're so dull!". It was good for me to realise that being away from Chile had left a mark: I had become a desabrido guy! Sadly, I've met a few inter-cultural couples who have not lived happily ever after, and the main culprit is the desabrido thing.
--Update: Check out all the other posts written about the topic
Kyle
Flo
Clare
Sara
Abby
Katina
Emily
Amanda
Renee
Kathleen
Lydia
Shannon
-- end of update
What do I think of you? I have to start with one clarification: I use the word gringo(a) to refer in general to English-speaking people, and my views are based on the British, Irish, Americans and Australians I've met, and I know less Americans than European English-speakers. By no means I mean antything offensive or derogatory by using the word gringo (in other countries it has connotations, but not in Chilean Spanish).
Gringos are cool. Gringas too. That's my first impression and it's due to their straight-forward and let's-cut-the-crap attitude. I think I am bit like that too, so I kinda like you. It can be a bit much sometimes, but gradually one can get used to it because it makes everything more predictable. Probably is more difficult the other way around: a gringo having to get used to the Chilean ways.
So it all boils down to this: you're more straight forward, and what you're like 'what see is what you get' type of people. It can be brutal though to deal with you, particularly for Chileans.
Optimism
Americans in general can be excessively optimistic, too loud and over the top, to the point of being annoyingly over-enthusiastic, can't wait to get things done and come across as too simplistic. Brits are green with envy of Americans and they try hard to disguise it but they fail, miserably. If you ask an American how they are doing, they answer: GREAT! AND YOU?! British say: 'I'm not too bad'. Americans say good morning! and they mean it. They talk more than the Europeans, and even after some brief small talk to a stranger in the lift they say good to know you, or something equally intense. At work Americans not only wish you a good weekend on Fridays, they even tell you Happy Friday. This is remarkable. Americans are energetic. British aren't. The stiff upper lip is the British way, and a Chilean person wouldn't find difficult living sorrounded by British people, because us being professional pessimists find less of an effort to understand the British psyche than the American one. If someone ask me how I am doing, in Spanish, I only reply "aquí estamos" which is the Chilean for "I'm not too bad".
Porn and general filth
There's this bizarre urban legend in Chile than anyone with fair hair, white complexion and a non-national is or has been engaged in the porn industry, or is a sex obsessive. Sadly, this is not true and it is an urban legend, and probably one day we may be able to pin point who came up with such lie, but we will never manage to find out how come so many people believe this absurdity.
The biggest misconception about these people is that gringas are easy and gringos are perverts. First, actually they come from a less sexually charged culture, and my theory is that Chileans love a sexually repressed society so they can intensify their sex experiences (don't ask how I came to this conclusion). Cheating for gringos is not OK, although I have met remarkable exceptions. For Chileans is part of the game. So there are no justified reasons to call them sex obsessives. Gringas dress more provocatively because they are less afraid of catcalling, and gringos come across as shy because of this. In fact, gringos are more concerned about STDs and are more pruddish about all sorts of exchange of fluids which is a natural part of the process of making babies, if you know what I mean (I can't believe I'm saying this!!). So in this regard, it's the Chileans who are the filthy ones. Gringos are squeaky-clean and mentally nonchalant, sort of.
Dating gringas
The gringa girls are great to hang out with, although when it comes to dating them, things turn ugly. (There are powerful reasons why I am in a relationship with a French woman and not with a gringa or -god forbid- a Chilena). For gringas there's this strong culture of 'dates' and they even count them, as in this is a first date, and then there's a second date, next oh, a third date, and ta-dah... a fourth date. Who else, other than yourselves, care about it?! I have been wondering how this works in Chile and I don't really know and I wouldn't dare to ask because people are not even going to understand the question. I think our way of dating is a mess. For Chileans the rule is 'there are no rules'. There's no such thing as a first date, and all that it entails, or a second date etc. I mean going out is less structured for us, we just go out, and preferably in a group. So you come across as a bit cold and as too obvious. Gringo culture make it really evident (you may start seeing a pattern here) when someone has taken a fancy to someone else.
I don't know how the online dating services are getting on in Chile but I suspect they may be an utter disaster. Chileans are less blatantly obvious to ask someone out on a date, so organising dates online is still confined to the weirdos. In English-speaking countries, ordering girlfriends and brides online is becoming more and more common.
Gringas tend to go out for dinner, a lot. That's the first cultural shock because we don't really have a meal like a dinner, we have once. If you have been living in Chile, you will know what I'm talking about, and you surely understand how different it is. Hell, we go for once, not dinner for goodness sake! And because when gringas in their own countries could not care less about people from other nationalities, you will realise it is not an easy task to woo you, if you know what I mean.
Talking
Gringas talk a lot. They are more articulate, they can verbalise things I didn't even know could be put into words, and they go on and on about all sort of topics. They tend to read a lot of self-help books and pyschology stuff, plus the huge influence from their celebrity culture (they have actual celebrities, unlike those gits on Chilean telly -- self-proclaimed celebrities), add that what-you-see-is-what-you-get attitude, and the mixture is not too easy to digest. I shared a flat with two gringas for a couple of years and they literally organised 'Sex & The City sessions' and intoxicated with it. Seriously, it's just a TV show, and a boring one. They also snack obsessively whilst watching TV: chocolates, biscuits, sweets, the lot. Then they complain they are getting flabby and start buying low-carb low-GI low-calorie and low-fat food: disgusting. Hardly ever you find Chilean women as obssessed or even mildly interested in anything on TV, or in anything in general, other than the soaps.
Engaging in a conversation with a gringa is easy, while with a Chilean woman there's hardly ever anything interesting to talk about. Perhaps Chileans are more uptight cause they believe one is only trying to get into her knickers. One trick I learned is that the gringas really love a good listener (with all that talking, you have to) . This is virtually impossible with a Chilean because they don't talk, so there's not much to listen to.
Breaking up
Breaking up with the gringas is, as you can expect, fairly simple too. 'We have to talk, there's something I have to tell you... things aren't working, blah blah... fair enough, yeah I agree, bye'. With Chileans, you don't really know when you started so you don't really know when it's over either. It is quite unstable. But when it happens, it is intense. You can get back together with a Chilean after cheating (well, that's what I've seen) because it is somehow expected.
Family
Gringos have with their families a very honest relationship, and that's great. 'Family first', we say in Chile. Rubbish. People just live with their families cause they can't afford otherwise and the culture of sharing flats has not taken off yet. For Chileans this means that family can bully you, treat you like shit, get on your way, give their opinions on things that should not concern anyone else, family feel entitled to frown upon what you do or don't do, or tell you whether they approve or disapprove your significant other. Because in Chile so many people live with their parents well into their 20s, even early 30s, Chileans lack independence. If the family is annoying, a gringo doesn't feel compelled to be in touch with the parents. So they are perceived as cold or even rutheless by the Chileans. I wonder what's going to happen when Chileans have more disposable income and can afford living on their own.
Marriage
And going back on the gringa subject, as part of our mess when it comes to relationships, one striking difference is that only gringas are so obsessive about marriage and settling down. I mean gringos really see marriage as something else, it's not just a contract, or let alone a way to escape home. They are after being happy in a marriage and to purse a happy married life. They have wedding planners because the wedding is the most important day of your life for them. The sacrosanct concept of 'family first' in Chile gave way to a marriage terror (or maybe it's just me?), so the same ones who criticise the gringos over being 'cold' for not being in touch with their parents (because parents can be really awkward sometimes) put Chileans off marriage. Until recently divorce was not an option in Chile, so people just have mistresses and second lives (whoa, mysterious!), which is totally accepted and people pretend such things are not true. Lack of contraception also means too many young Chilean men have children and all this is regarded as normal, so a divorced gringo or an older one with no children can also amount to horror to Chileans. So probably all the neatly organised way of dating I described before is unconsciously designed to find the one.
Breastfeeding
I've never seen a campaign for breastfeeding in Chile, and I don't see the Chileans needing one in the near future. You just don't see women breastfeeding their children in public places in gringo countries. Formula milk is seriously frowned upon in Chile, same as gringos frown upon breastfeeding in public. You will not encounter a Chilean saying 'Breasts are for my husband' either. Well, they may very well be, but come on, what about the nutrition of that child! Girls, give some breast milk to your children (I know what you're thinking: yuk!). Again, you come across as cold people.
Success
Actually, it's amazing to see how family can be equally important for gringos, even more so than for Chileans. Gringos see family as an essential part of their lives, and something that makes them happy. I would say that living in a culture with higher disposable income really turn people towards the pursue of emotional happiness rather than material obsession, since having food on the table and a roof over your head is less a dramatic task than in Third-World countries, so somehow the Chileans perceive gringos as materialist, but that's because in gringo societies there's more money in general. Gringos are quite different in this regard, and quite the opposite to Continental Europeans. Godless, childless France is a horror to gringos. In France, having a dog rather than a child and living on your own is socially accepted, not quite so in the English-speaking world.
Study the language
You can examine the language to understand what chileans think of gringos. One of the more common adjectives to describe gringos is desabridos, which means 'bland', but I think it refers to that WYSIWYG mode in which you function, to use computer terminology. Gringos are not dark horses, there's nothing mysterious about them either. Kind of 'fome' (boring) too.
Another word is rotos, as in lacking manners or being rude, very much related to the desabrido. Some years ago I went on a date with a Chilean girl who I had known for a while, and a couple of pisco sours later, slightly upset she said "you're so dull!". It was good for me to realise that being away from Chile had left a mark: I had become a desabrido guy! Sadly, I've met a few inter-cultural couples who have not lived happily ever after, and the main culprit is the desabrido thing.
The word roto though is quite unfair. 'Oh I'm soo sorry!' after barely someone touches you or slightly tread on your foot can't be considered rude. The English just say 'sorry', but they really mean F.O. Actually, Americans are really nice, even naive.
Buy a map
Broadly speaking, Americans ask 'where's that?' after I tell them I'm Chilean. Europeans usually reply 'I've been there' or 'I'd love to visit Chile'. America is a massive country and a continent in itself, but please... seriously buy a map.
Your comments are welcome.
